brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
