When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
