I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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