Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize