You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
