Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
