i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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