How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize