Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
