Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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