Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
