i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
