I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
