I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
