I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
