We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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