I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
