The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
