No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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