We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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