were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
