Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
