i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
