the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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