I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
