the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
