i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
