I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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