kristin has been a bad kristin
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
