Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
