Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
