the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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