It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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