In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
