apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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