Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
A bitchslap is in order.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
