So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
