So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
