South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
