Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I AM VODKA MAN
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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