What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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