I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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