When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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