I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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