I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
