don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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