32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize