You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
