There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
