Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
