butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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