help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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