Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize