I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
