just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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