Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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