he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize