I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
