So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I faked an abortion last night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I will be naked everywhere
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
