My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
