you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
