Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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