unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize