I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
